The Ethics of Imagined Stories.

I am facing a dilemma. I once read (and I swore it was on a lunch break at work) a short story by Daniel Handler (a.k.a. Lemony Snicket) about a bar, and a girl, and a Dashiel Hammet-esque mistery involving a glassed in chimney. And it was amazing! It was one of the best shorts I've ever read. The atmosphere he created was just so perfect. And it was so unlike his other things. But, I'm starting to think it doesn't really exist. See, the book I swore I read it in doesn't have any stories by Daniel Handler. And any of the other collections I've read that might have had it turn up completely Handlerless. But I'm so convinced he wrote it, and I'm just missing it.

See, I've fabricated false memories in the past. Really vivid ones. Sometimes I still think my mom is fucking with me by telling me they never happened, but everyone else agrees with her. So it's entirely possible that I dreamed up the whole thing, and he never wrote that story. I'm wondering then if it's fair game... I want to read it again, and if it doesn't really exist I suppose I'll just have to create it. But it still feels a little underhanded. Like I'm stealing it. Also I doubt I could write it as well as Dream Handler wrote it.

Maybe I should just write to Mr. Handler and ask if he ever actually wrote that story. I wonder how well he responds to mail.



Edit: Oh thank goodness I've found it! It really does exist! I definately wasn't up to the task of repeating it, and Hooray another little notch in the "Megan Isn't Crazy" count.

Things which need to happen and right quick

1. Story Club needs to be reinstated. With baked goods.

2. More Dungeons and Dragons. Apparently Garth Nix published a campaign or two for DnD when he was 17. You know you want to.

3. My bell and jalapeno peppers need to be replanted into pots, and watered, so the poor things don't die shortly after blooming.

4. Vacation.

6. Crow Toes needs to get back to me (in the positive) before I go completely off my nut.

7. Nifty outdated slang needs to become common place in everyday speech.


You may have noticed something missing. It is not missing. I have simply trancended the need for it. As I no longer recognize that which is missing as missing, it has no place in my life. Perhaps if you were to reach such an enlightened state as myself, you would no longer find a need for trivial things like sequential numbers.

Okay so I'm typing in the dark and I totally need to be taken away from the religion section.

As if I needed any more reason to hate...

http://www.youtube.com/user/wowtcg

This fucker right here. "Half Price Books will sell a retro book with a cover price of .50 cents they are asking 149.99 for the book currently. If they are really selling items for half price then they should sell it for .25 cents not 149.99"

DUUUUURFF. "I'm a cheap bastard with absolutely no comprehension of business, but I shore do have a camera durp durp durp."

This is why I hate the internet. For all it's done for me, for all the knowledge gained and the good people I've met (three whole ones, yeah!), it has brought this into the world, and I can never truely stop hating that I've seen this level of stupidity on youtube. Thank you internet, for creating a worse monster than anything our forefathers could ever imagine.

P.S., I also hate the television shows that sprung up to show The Funniest Internet Videos! Get that off my fucking tv!